According to the National Institute for Mental Health, more than 1 in 4 adolescents currently struggle with an anxiety disorder, with rates ranging even higher for females (38%) than for males (26.1%).
For those currently navigating the social pressures of high school, the challenges of family changing dynamics, and the pressure of planning for the future — this statistic might seem unsurprising. But it’s worth taking a moment to put into context. This means one out of every four friends, classmates, or teammates is dealing with serious worry, fear, and stress on a daily basis. And if you’ve noticed these feelings yourself, it means you’re not alone.
Yet despite how common the experience may be, there are some key things you (or your family) might not know about anxiety.
What does teen anxiety feel like?
Everyone’s experience is unique, but teen anxiety usually includes some combination of:
- Being overwhelmed, constantly worried about something (or everything)
- Feelings of isolation, loneliness, or being “unworthy” of acceptance
- Lack of motivation or struggling to enjoy activities
- Difficulty sleeping
Parents, teachers, or friends may notice changes in behavior, but sometimes symptoms might be harder to see. You may not fully understand what you’re feeling, why you’re feeling it, or how to change things.
The good news is that there are some great options for addressing anxiety, including anxiety therapy, that can not only help you start to feel better in the short term, but also offer long-term benefits that can help you shape the life you want.
So, what is anxiety therapy?
Anxiety therapy involves pairing up with a professional therapist who can help you start to think and feel better about your life. We’ll use our knowledge and experience to understand, validate, and give you a safe space to process your feelings. We’ll also guide you through techniques to adjust the mental patterns and behaviors that feed anxiety.
Some therapists specialize in specific techniques like Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) which can help address specific challenges or traumas.
And those of us who focus on working with teens are particularly experienced with the issues that matter most to you. It also means that we’re familiar with some of the most common concerns and misconceptions that teens have before their first session.
What teens (and families) might misunderstand about anxiety:
1. Everyone has anxiety. I should just “deal with it.”
While it’s true that anxiety is a normal human experience, there’s a difference between the type of healthy anxiety that gets us ramped up and motivated to perform during a big event or a major test, and the anxiety which makes those feelings of fear and worry a constant companion. The drive to “deal” isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Wanting to be self-sufficient is a part of the shift to adulthood. But ignoring your anxiety isn’t dealing with it; it often only makes the feelings stronger. Recognizing and getting help with anxiety doesn’t mean you’re not capable of taking care of yourself. Just the opposite. Anxiety therapy is designed to give you the strategies to become more balanced, in control, and at peace with your life.
2. Blaming anxiety for how I’m feeling means saying my emotions or my experiences aren’t “real” or valid.
Being a teenager, especially today, comes with a ton of pressure and social baggage. On top of dealing with the developmental norms of redefining family relationships, friendships, and romantic relationships, you’re burdened with doing it all while thinking about the future on a personal and a global level. It’s hard. Sometimes things are going to be overwhelming, and that’s completely normal. But when things feel hard all the time, and you’re not sure how to cope, anxiety might be to blame. And therapy can help. But the point of therapy isn’t to rob you of a healthy range of emotion, rather to empower you to experience those negative emotions in a way that doesn’t rob you of the positive ones.
3. I don’t think I can trust a stranger with my personal life.
Talking about trauma or admitting your fears is hard enough with friends — won’t it be even harder with someone you’ve just met? The good news is, not necessarily. It’s completely understandable to be a little uncomfortable getting so personal with someone new. But we’re invested in building a real, trusting relationship centered around your needs. And because that relationship exists outside of your family, or your social circles, we can create a true judgment-free zone that empowers you to say whatever is on your mind.
4. I don’t want my parents to know what I talk about in therapy.
Teens often worry about the details of their private sessions being shared with their parents. We’re here to put these fears to rest. When you come to us as a new client, we’ll always meet with your parent or guardian first to get their perspective. Then, during our first session, we can review what was discussed so that you have total transparency. From then on none of what you say during our time together will be shared with your parents. Your concerns, your challenges, and your progress will remain between us unless you specifically request otherwise. The only exception is in our professional obligation to inform your parents if you are at risk of posing a physical risk to yourself or others.
5. Therapy just doesn’t work for me.
In order to make lasting change, there is nothing more important than a client’s relationship with their therapist. Even with the right expertise, a therapist may not be able to guide you in the right direction if you don’t trust them or if you don’t really feel heard. Finding someone you really click with can be hard. Sometimes it happens right away. Other times you may need to explore other options. We take the client-therapist relationship very seriously and will do everything we can to ensure you are comfortable, and in general, enjoying the process. We always encourage our clients to give it a chance — if it doesn’t end up being a good fit then we’ll work with you to find someone new. What matters most to us is finding the right way to support you.