If someone you love is struggling with anxiety, it can be a heartbreaking experience. You want to help them, but you don’t know what to say or what you can do to ease their struggle. Maybe it’s your teen who used to be outgoing but now isolates themself from social events. Maybe your young adult is overwhelmed by the next steps into adulthood and struggles to make decisions about college, relationships, or their future. Or a close friend who is constantly drowning in their responsibilities.
You can see they’re hurting, and you want to jump in and fix it. The thing about anxiety is you don’t need to fix it to be helpful. Sometimes, the most powerful support is simply being present and reassuring them that they’re not alone in their journey.
What Anxiety Actually Looks Like
Anxiety is one of the most common mental health struggles, and symptoms can fall on a wide spectrum. It isn’t always as obvious as panic attacks or constant worry. For teens and young adults, anxiety often presents as:
- Canceling plans, especially at the last minute
- Difficulty keeping up with schoolwork or work responsibilities
- Irritability or mood swings that seem out of character
- Physical ailments like headaches, muscle tension, or stomach issues
- Withdrawing from close friends and activities that were once enjoyed
Understanding the less obvious signs can help you recognize someone in need of support, even if they haven’t expressed an issue with anxiety.
The Dos and Don’ts of Anxiety Support
When a loved one is struggling, your first instinct may be to problem-solve a solution, with them or for them. As well-intentioned as this thought may be, it is often not the most helpful approach.
Validate their experience. Feelings of anxiety are real. Even when they stem from unrealistic thoughts, the best approach is to provide validation. Saying “I can see this is really hard” goes much further than “don’t worry about it.”
Ask how you can help. Everyone responds to anxiety in their own way and has differing needs. Sometimes distractions are helpful, other times a listening ear will do the trick. Ask the simple question.
Avoid minimizing what they’re feeling. One of the worst things you can do is say “relax” or “calm down.” It can make them feel more alienated and misunderstood. This approach can easily backfire and push them away.
Don’t take their anxiety personally. If they cancel plans or seem distant with you, remind yourself that it’s about their internal struggle and not anything reflective of you.
Creating Space for Honest Communication
One valuable gesture you can do is create a judgment-free space where they feel comfortable opening up about their anxiety. No pressures to be any certain way. No expectations. Ask open-ended questions that drive conversation and show you’re genuinely listening.
If the conversation isn’t flowing, then let the silence exist. Sometimes people need time to find the right words.
No matter what your thoughts are, resist the urge to take over the conversation.
When to Suggest Professional Support
Support systems are a great tool for dealing with anxiety. As much as you can listen and occasionally offer insight or advice, you’re not meant to act as their therapist. If you’ve observed that their anxiety is interfering with their quality of life or well-being, it’s safe to suggest professional help.
If you’re hesitant to make the suggestion, you can cautiously phrase it as an additional resource and not a replacement for your support.
You’re Not Alone
Whether you’re a parent with a struggling teen, a friend supporting someone through tough times, or a partner helping reduce the overwhelming stress of daily life, your presence matters more than having the right plan of action.
If you or someone you care about is struggling with anxiety, we’re here to help. Reach out today to learn more about our anxiety therapy and family therapy services.