The concept of family is considered a source of safety and security. It’s the foundation for how each of us develops a sense of identity and attachment. Unfortunately, for some people, it’s also a source of pain.
Family trauma can take many forms, whether neglect, abuse, or handed-down generational trauma. Each can leave deep and lasting scars that significantly impact personal growth, development, and overall well-being.
Healing is not only possible, but important to prevent future generations from suffering their own course of familial trauma. Here’s a look at the path to healing.
Acknowledge the Trauma
Pretending family trauma didn’t happen won’t change the reality of the situation. It’s a harmful practice to avoid having conversations that could allow processing and healing.
Each person’s experience is going to be different where family trauma is concerned. Every individual’s perception matters, even if the remembered details vary from person to person. It’s important to validate the experience for each person, regardless of the details.
Start by recognizing patterns in behaviors. Are there things that are emotional triggers? Is there a change or complete breakdown in communication between certain individuals or the family as a whole?
Seek Education
Navigating family trauma isn’t something that anyone is born knowing how to do. It’s also not an easy process.
Education and understanding are going to be key. Learn what you can about generational trauma, triggers, symptoms, and coping strategies. You can explore resources on topics like effective communication habits and emotional intelligence.
Another helpful outlet for education is to connect with others who have lived through similar or shared experiences. Support groups are a good way to make these types of connections.
Practice Open Communication
As difficult as it may be during this process, working towards open communication is essential. There are multiple ways you can boost communication practices.
Be an active listener, providing a true, open, and non-judgmental ear. Reflect on what others are saying when speaking to you.
Be open about expressing your feelings as well. The best way to do this without escalating a situation is to use “I” statements. It reduces the blame, perceived or otherwise, placed on another person, but allows you to convey your feelings.
The best way to help communication habits thrive is to create safe spaces. When you feel comfortable, you’re much more likely to let your walls down. Having these difficult but necessary conversations allows the healing process to begin.
Set Boundaries
As you navigate your trauma and start working through emotions, you also want to establish boundaries. It’s important to define what is and isn’t acceptable in each of your relationships. This is good practice in any relationship, whether personal or professional, but crucial in healing from trauma.
Once you have your boundaries, make sure you’re enforcing them. They’re of no use if you’re not respectfully implementing them.
Practice Forgiveness
As time passes, and when you reach a point of readiness, work towards forgiveness. There is something very healing in being able to forgive. Forgiveness doesn’t mean you’re going to forget or that you condone negative behaviors. It just means you’re letting go of something that you don’t need to hang on to.
This act of forgiveness applies to you as well. Release any guilt that you may be harboring from past events.
Work to Rebuild Trust
Moving through the healing process involves letting certain things go and starting to rebuild trust. This occurs through consistency and mutual respect. There’s no set time frame for this to occur, either.
Acknowledge any role you played and take responsibility. Start setting an example for good behavior and positivity.
Seek Professional Guidance
In some instances of family trauma, where the wounds are deep or the trauma is complex, professional guidance may be a necessary step. Exploring individual therapy, family therapy, or both can help you to process your emotions, develop healthy coping strategies, and achieve productive conflict resolution. Ready to take this next step? Contact us to get started.