No one handed you a manual on how to be an adult. One day, your biggest concern is deciding what you should eat for lunch. Next, you’re supposed to know how to make a financial budget, schedule doctor appointments, file your taxes, manage insurance, figure out your career, and still have time to miraculously get eight hours of sleep. It’s a lot to manage.
If you’ve been feeling like you’re constantly behind while everyone else seems to have their life under control, I promise you, you’re not alone. What you’re experiencing is adulting anxiety, and it’s a lot more common than you may think. The jump from your teen years to adulthood is a big shift. If you feel unprepared, it means you’re human.
Why Adulting Feels So Hard
There’s a common social belief that once you turn 18, you’re somehow supposed to have all the answers. Suddenly, you’re expected to know how to handle adult life. The truth is, no one is born knowing how to negotiate a lease or purchase renter’s insurance. These adult skills are something that you have to craft over time, usually through trial, error, failure, and a decent amount of Googling.
The pressure to have it all figured out easily becomes overwhelming. Social media and the constant comparison reel can leave you feeling inadequate.
Signs Adulting Anxiety Might Be Affecting You
Adulting anxiety doesn’t always present in the same way as typical anxiety. It’s often more subtle. Common ways it can show up include:
- Putting off adult tasks (paying bills, sending emails, scheduling appointments) until the last minute, if doing them at all
- Feeling constant dread that you’re failing at life
- Comparing yourself to peers and feeling like you’re falling behind
- Shutting down when you have too much on your plate
- Feeling excluded from some secret that everyone else knows about
For some people, anxiety around adult responsibilities can also connect to undiagnosed ADHD or patterns from childhood experiences. When these behaviors impact your daily functioning, it’s a signal that your system needs some attention.
The Difference Between Normal Stress and Something More
Stress and general overwhelm are normal. Everyone feels it. But there’s a difference between feeling stressed and feeling like you can’t function. If adulting anxiety is making it hard to keep up with schoolwork or job responsibilities, or even basic self-care, you need to start paying attention.
Many young adults white-knuckle their way through their early twenties, writing these feelings off as a normal part of growing up. Eventually, this stress is going to get louder and these feelings more intense until they stop you in your tracks.
What Actually Helps
Start by lowering the bar for what counts as a win. There’s no correct way to figure things out or a specific amount you need to know by any given time. Learning one item on the list is a check in the right direction. One is still an accomplishment.
Opening up about your experience can break the hold the anxiety has over you. Isolation makes it worse, so having the important conversations with loved ones can be particularly helpful.
Get curious about your patterns. Do certain responsibilities feel harder for you to manage than others? Is there something specific that you try to avoid? An important aspect of adulting is figuring out where anxiety stems from.
When to Reach Out for Support
If adulting anxiety is consistently getting in the way of living your life, you don’t have to continue to grind away. Therapy for young adults isn’t just for periods of crisis. Sometimes it’s needed when you’re feeling overwhelmed or want to understand the why behind your behavioral patterns.
You deserve to thrive throughout your twenties and beyond. Contact us to learn more about our therapy services and see what genuine support in your corner feels like.