Three not-so-hard truths to help you move forward with confidence
Young adulthood is exciting — filled with big milestones and decisions that can lay the foundation for the rest of your life.
Whether you’re just starting college or beginning your career, getting into a serious relationship or moving out for the first time, this is your first real taste of unfiltered independence. And it can be amazing!
But it can also be a time when some harder moments begin.
Newfound independence may gradually give way to the burdens of responsibility. Long-term relationships might turn out to have some unexpected complications. Maybe you finally got the job you really wanted only to feel totally unfilled or even hate it.
After so much build up around this phase of your life, it’s not uncommon to feel lost or let down. This can be so disheartening. You did everything right, followed the path, and now this? Where do you go from here?
Truth #1: This is (normal) adulting.
First of all, if these experiences sound familiar, you’re not alone.
Young adulthood is full of amazing opportunities and exciting firsts which can be a lot of fun. But it’s also a time of major change, during which many of us have to learn to self-regulate and become solely responsible for ourselves for first time. This is hard.
Unfortunately, we often hear this assumption that everyone else already has everything figured out. Between general media, social media, and the way parents and teachers often depict this phase of life, young adulthood is often idealized. This can create false expectations about what it means to be “grown up” — as though once you graduate high school, you should automatically know how the rest of your life will unfold. And this understandably causes a lot of fear, anxiety, and discomfort.
But the truth is no young adult has everything figured out right away. In fact, no adult — young or old — has everything figured out. And that’s perfectly okay.
Truth #2: You can (and should) get comfortable with discomfort.
Despite what we tend to learn as kids, even the most intelligent, successful, authoritative adults don’t lead perfect lives. Every stage comes with new changes, challenges, and uncertainties to overcome. Being an adult doesn’t mean that feelings of confusion, fear, or self-doubt automatically go away during periods of stress. But a big part of being a well-adjusted adult is learning to be comfortable being uncomfortable.
One of the biggest things we focus on with our clients is how to acknowledge discomfort and take care of yourself in those moments. Rather than trying to avoid it or numb it, we help you learn to expand your tolerance for stress so that you can deal with it in an effective way.
We accomplish this through verbal processing, rewriting negative self-beliefs (“I can’t do this,” “there’s something wrong with me,” etc.), and practicing healthy coping skills. In practical terms, this might mean replacing doom scrolling with things like getting organized, creating systems, or envisioning what you want your future to look like.
Truth #3: It’s time to (re)discover your spark.
One of the most important things we do with our clients is helping you navigate what truly brings you joy.
As teenagers, what we enjoy is often influenced by our friends, our parents, even our teachers. There’s a lot of pressure to pursue activities, relationships, college majors, or career paths that fit what other people envision for your future. One of the biggest benefits (and challenges) of young adulthood is the ability to independently make decisions about what makes you happy. But this newfound freedom can also leave you feeling untethered.
Depending on how much independence you’re used to, or how long you’ve been feeling “stuck,” it may take some time to find the things that light you up. You might feel like you set off in the right direction, but you need help staying connected to your passion. Or maybe you need some help thinking outside the box, imagining how your life might look different from the one you originally envisioned.
It can feel disheartening, even defeating, to go from a designated path to feeling like you need to go right back to the drawing board. The good news is, it’s never too late to make a change. This is the time to figure out what you want in life and sometimes that requires a process of trial and error. Rather than sticking with a path that doesn’t work for you, it’s worth putting in the effort now to change direction and chart your own course to a happier, more fulfilling life.
At Care Concepts Therapy, we’re here to help you make the most of young adulthood while finding a meaningful path to your future. Book a free consultation to get connected with one of our therapists.